I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
