..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
