return my video game
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
