i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
