You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Randomize
