when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize