I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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