How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
