I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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