69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
