3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
whose ass print is on the piano?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
