he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
