i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
