On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize