the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
