his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
