I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
