He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
