it wasn't lemon gatorade
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
