clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
