Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
