Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i've created a new STD.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
