Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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