Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
