**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
