yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
