Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
