grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize