what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We are two peas in an std pod
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
