Too much gin, very little bucket
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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