when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
