KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
