i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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