come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize