Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Welp...herpes.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize