Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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