I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
