okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
