We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
