Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
