brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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