so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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