I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
