i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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