Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
