you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
