After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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