I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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