we're chasing vodka with high fives
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
4 words: hood of his car
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
