when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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