return my video game
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
