What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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