38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
