Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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