We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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