Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
