So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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