If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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