Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
