so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
