just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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