There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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